October 24, 2009

Healthcare is a Constitutional Mandate, MoFo.

Healthcare is a constitutional right.

Article 1, Section 8,of the constitution enumerates the powers of Congress, of which there are 20.  (As an aside; the Constitution is an archaic and flawed document, as it does not address as its central purpose the battle against Global Warming™.)   Generally, when one thinks of the constitution, one thinks of a flawed and inherently racist document which permits greedy and bloodthirsty doctors to take out children's tonsils. or break out the bonesaw for windfall profits.  While all this is true, there is the “General Welfare Clause” which slightly redeems this terrible right-wing manifesto (so don't get all "wee-weed up").


Do not doubt the botnet's understanding of the law, or botnet will sue you for racism.  Then the botnet will issue a class-action pro-bono "contempt of court" ex-post-facto without prejudice... and your little dog, too.

In Article 1, Section 8, Congress is granted the power to "lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts, and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common defense and general Welfare of the United States."  The botnet generally likes welfare.   botnet supposes one could interpret this clause to mandate the fight against Global Warming™, but botnet doesn't wish to interpret the document in a manner not intended by those racistly-racist founding fathers.   Where it implicitly implies a right to free healthcare, it only implies an implicit implicitude with respect to Global Warming™.

They say that sunlight is the best sterilant  (botnet would claim this saying is an “aphorism”, but the botnet doesn't have “the Google” installed on it).   What botnet wanted to say is that we'd better cut our carbon emissions because all these carbons (and stuff) are helping the world become way too populated.   There isn't enough sunlight reaching the earth because all the carbon acts like a shield.   Our lack of sunlight (or any other potent sterilant) is the reason there are so many babies, as well as the Swine Flu™.   America's Chickens Have Come Home To Roost.

Mostly, botnet is shocked and appalled by two things: our inability to meaningfully address Global Warming™,  and the resultant population explosion (both of humans and Swine Flu™ germs).   By gassily gassing all this gassy carbon gas, there are fewer sterile people and more potent and abundant germs, or whatever.  The botnet can't walk down the street withought getting pregnant and sick at the same time.   Pretty soon we'll be forced to put sterilants in the water supply (because it just makes sense), but we'll never, EVER have the guts to face our greatest demon: Carbon Dioxide. Let us start with the MAJOR cause of the greenhouse effect, and deal with water vapor later.

Perhaps we'd be better served to from now refer to "insurance" as "general Welfare"... then sequentially expand the term to include "Global Warming™" as conditions dictate...

Posted by: the botnet at 06:16 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 I was initially confused on the logic of this post when I first saw it a some time ago.  I got a bit wee-weed up™ and started writing a reply, asking (more or less) politely  for more clarification on your logic.

Before I hit send, I proof read my note and realized what was going on.  A spark of inspiration hit, at that moment the botnet revolution began and realbotnet came into being. 


Posted by: TheRealBotnet at October 29, 2009 10:41 AM (tiuSj)

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